Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
