I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
