Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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