if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's always time for handjobs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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