I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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