return my video game
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
