Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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