I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
