Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
