saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
