Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
