maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
