morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
