I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
