i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
