I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
