did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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