I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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