Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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