Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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