The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize