You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
