wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
