thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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