she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
