Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
