The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Damn victory sex feels great
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
