Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
