i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
