Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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