Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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