I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize