I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
