hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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