I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
