It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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