all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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