Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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