The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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