Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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