that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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