I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
