They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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