you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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