So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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