going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
