So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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