wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
