I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
