Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
