I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
