is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
