Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i believe in u and ur pee
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
