You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You've changed since you got that strap on
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
