Four minutes until I can fart!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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