Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
