Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
