talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
