well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
