what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
