You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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