After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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