its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
